Jul 20, 2012

Long-distance relationship?

I've been dreading the question forever. I've been thinking about it for weeks. Don't ask me why, but somehow I knew I wouldn't like the answer. Until I finally plucked up my courage and asked my precious boyfriend how he imagined things would go on after I had to go back to university for one more year.

To make things more clear for you, we've been dating for about three months, I am madly in love with him and the town I'm studying in and where I have to go back to in about one and a half months, is about five hours by train away.

At first he didn't react to my question at all, but then after a minute or two he cuddled up to me and held me real tight - I could actually feel him shake, and I do suspect that he even shed a few tears, but I'm not too sure about that :) This gave me hope. If it made him so sad just to think about being separated he wouldn't finish off things as soon as I had to go back.

He explained his rather extreme reaction by telling me that he didn't know how to answer my question and that he was sad to let me go indeed. I tried to reassure him that everything would be fine, as long as he promised me not to break up with me as soon as I had to go back. And that was the moment, when the worst happened: he hesitated. He didn't assure me that we'd be fine, that we could do the whole long-distance relationship-thing.

Until that moment I had been on the verge of tears, because I had been dreading the question for so long. Then I just couldn't hold them back anymore, and he went: Oh no, sweetheart, don't cry! But I couldn't stop myself, because for me it was crystal clear: If he couldn't agree to at least try and make the long-distance relationship work, this would be it. I didn't want to pretend being happy for a few more weeks, knowing that it would be over the moment I went back. So I desperately tried to change his mind, telling him it would only be for a year, that we could at least meet up twice a month and that of course it would be hard, but I didn't want this to end right there. But as he still wasn't convinced to try making it work, I decided to go home. I kissed him goodbye one last time.

Back home I broke down and cried until I couldn't even cry anymore. I couldn't imagine being all by myself again, having to go through a breakup again. So I called my sweet French and asked him to come over and spend the night, because I couldn't stand being alone. When he came he finally agreed to at least try to make it work, but I still suspect that he had only said it to make me feel better.

Since then we haven't talked about it again, but although we agreed on at least trying to make it work, it took me a few days to get over it. However, I always had the feeling that something was between us, something, that was separating us and it feels so much better now as we have at least tried to talk about it.

Xoxo, do you think this is going to work? Have you ever been in a situation like that?


  1. I know exactly what you are talking about, we've had a lot of "long-distance" periods with my fiancé throughout years, and all I can say is that you won't learn if it works or not unless you try it. I'd suggest not overthinking it, and just let the situation settle, after a few weeks you'll be both wiser. And who knows, it may actually strenghten your relationship, like it did for us...If you're meant to be together, you'll make it through!

    xx Ivana
    Macarons and Pearls

    1. Thank you! That makes me feel so much better. I know that you can never know beforehand if it is going to work, but I at least want to know that I tried!


  2. It can totally work. I was in Auburn, Alabama while Justin was in LA for 4 years. Now we're both in LA and married. If you believe in it and want it and have a plan it's one hundred percent possible. Fabulous post, love! If you get a sec, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my latest trend report & post for LaurenConrad.com xo


  3. Ugh! I do think LDRs can work - but they are so frustrating! I know people who have made them work. In fact, I'm attending a wedding next month, and the relationship started with 5 hours between them. So they can work - but not without a lot of effort.

    If you both want it to succeed, it will. And if the boyfriend doesn't make the effort, in time you'll see how it's for the best.

    1. Thanks, I am determined to make it work, because I really think that we could work for longer than just a few months. I know it's going to be hard and that it'll get to me, but anyways at least want to know that we tried. To me giving up without trying seems like wasting the whole relationship.

      xx, thanks for your nice words!

  4. I have never had LDR, but I think there is only one way to find out - simply try and see how it goes.

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