NY Resolution: Finding Mr. Big

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Only a few more hours to go and we'll be celebrating a brand new year. Now everyone's thinking about how they will improve their lives through their New Year resolutions. This year I've made a resolution, that's slightly different to the ones I've made the last years. This year I'm set on finding my Mr. Big, my Prince Charming, my other person.

I'm sure, you're smiling at my foolishness right now. Smirking, how I could be as foolish as to think that I can just decide that I  want to meet Mr. Right this year and it's actually going to happen. Well, I've always thought the same, but I've been reading a new book - The Secret - lately, and the author claims that it is possible to get everything you ever wanted - happiness, wealth, love... All you need to do is to control your thoughts. They say, that your thoughts become things. That means that you only need to think about and imagine the things you want to happen. For example, imagine how it will feel or what you will do when your wish comes true. And, never, ever think about not getting what you wish for...

In light of this I wish you all a very happy New Year and that all your wishes may come true in 2013!

Celebrations are in order

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Hello my dear readers!

Exactly one year ago I started this blog because of my dream to share my life and experiences with you, my dear readers. This last year you've followed me through my Search for Love, enjoying Christmas and my love for Presents, my musings about Kissing Frogs and my relationship with Mr. French.

Here's a toast to all of you who've been reading my posts and following this blog! Thank you all so much for your support and your comments! I really enjoyed this past year :)

Xoxo, here's to all of you! I hope you like Champagne!






Please follow me on  and Follow @cent4urthoughts!

Being Single

Here's another nice guest blog of my dear friend Bernhard. Hope you enjoy it!

Being Single

If you are single you want to be in a relationship and if you are in a relationship you sometimes wish being single again - we all know that feeling. The worst thing that could happen is that you always wish you were single. Because if you do think that way something is not right with you and your partner.
But is being single so bad? Is the idea of living your own life - and even if it is just for a few months - really that crazy? If your partner always says what you shouldn't do and what he doesn't want you to be then I think it is not a bad idea at all. The point of being in a relationship is loving the person next to you with all their flaws and even if it gets rough you want to figure something out together.
I am telling you now: If you have ideas of your life and someone wants to hold you back then please leave before you regret it. It will hurt but if you finally reach what you were looking for - is it a job or a country you want to live in - then you can still settle down.
I am 21 years old and want to see things, i feel like i could move mountains when i think of other cities. So now I am free - once again, but i don't regret it because i know i have dreams and if being single is the key to move on I am willing to let go of my relationship.
We have only one life - we shouldn't waste it with thoughts like: Why didn't I do that?
We should say - I learned from that experience and it was worth it!

Xoxo, enjoy your life and do whatever you feel is right!

Long-distance relationship II

Remember Mr. French? The one who promised me countless massages and who I had successfully convinced to at least try a long-distance relationship when I had to go back after my internship ended.

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But a few weeks before I had to leave for uni he came to my place and, after a few minutes of small talk he just announced: 'I don't want a long-distance relationship'. At first I was real calm and it seemed I would be able to take it like that, I even tried to comfort him, because he seemed a bit shattered.
That's when I broke down, too. I cried and simply couldn't understand why he would do that to us. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't try at least. He was so sweet and stayed for over an hour trying to comfort me, but I knew I'd never calm down as long as he was there, so I felt like I had to send him away.

Before he left he asked me to stay friends - I know, people say that all the time when they break up, but I had the feeling he meant it. So, after a few weeks we made an attempt at staying friends and met for dinner and drinks. At first it was kind of awkward and we didn't really know what to talk about, but in the end I felt like it had been a nice evening and I started to believe that we could actually stay friends.

Xoxo, try to enjoy what you have as long as it's still there.

Changes

Hello girls!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately but there have been so many changes in this past few weeks... And I'm on my way to Sardinia right now, where I'll spend the next two weeks lying on the white sand beach getting tanned and enjoying the view on all those hot Italian guys I hope will be around. I promise to tell you all about what's been going on as soon as I'm back!

In the meantime check out my board Places I want to see on Pinterest.

Xoxo, enjoy the last days of summer!

Oh my love, Pinterest!

I know, I know, I said, I'd write about dating and that kind of stuff. But I have just spent so much time - hours and hours - on Pinterest recently, that I figured, I'd share some of the awesome diy tutorials, ideas and websites I found, with you.

You are your words

You are your words is a website, where you can upload a picture (preferably a portrait) and the program will repaint the picture using your own words. You are asked to type in a text that describes yourself. As I didn't have time, I just copied a few quotes from Sex and the City - which worked perfectly fine too.
I'm still so excited, that I found this website! Just imagine how many great and artsy pictures you could make using this tool. You only need a nice picture, some text and a bit creativity - everything else is done by the website. And the best thing about it: It's totally free!
Everybody'll think you turned into an artist overnight.

DIY and Crafts

As for DIY, arts and crafts: Pinterest is my personal heaven! Check out my pinterest board "What to try someday". It is so much fun to try all the tutorials and instructions and most of them are so easy to make while most times they also save you money.

Here are a few examples of the DIY tutorials I'm definitely going to try one day:

Button Bookmarks by iheartnaptime

Braided Bead Necklace by Make up and Macaroons

DIY candle holders by Martha Stewart

Busuu

I have recently started studying French - so I could talk to my sweet French's family, if he ever decides to introduce me. ;)

So I googled free online courses for studying French. What I found was very varied, some only offering a few vocabulary tables, others everything varying from online-classes, live-chats and mobile apps to free podcasts - for a steep prize, of course.

Busuu was the first that I found that offered modules with interactive vocabulary tables, exercises and a test at the end of each module. But what I think makes a very big difference to other online programs is the writing section. In each module you are asked to write a few sentences using the vocabulary you just learned. For example in the module "Bienvenue" (Welcome) I had to introduce myself. Usually this part is corrected by the computer or you are told it has been sent to someone you never hear of again. At Busuu you can choose up to five people of the community (who's native language is the language you are learning) and send them what you've written, so they'll correct it. Most times they even give you reasons and explanations why they corrected something or why this has to be in this or that way.

Besides that you even have the chance to chat with other people of the community - even video chatting is possible.

Xoxo, leave a comment if you know other exciting, useful or just fun websites!

Long-distance relationship?

I've been dreading the question forever. I've been thinking about it for weeks. Don't ask me why, but somehow I knew I wouldn't like the answer. Until I finally plucked up my courage and asked my precious boyfriend how he imagined things would go on after I had to go back to university for one more year.

To make things more clear for you, we've been dating for about three months, I am madly in love with him and the town I'm studying in and where I have to go back to in about one and a half months, is about five hours by train away.

At first he didn't react to my question at all, but then after a minute or two he cuddled up to me and held me real tight - I could actually feel him shake, and I do suspect that he even shed a few tears, but I'm not too sure about that :) This gave me hope. If it made him so sad just to think about being separated he wouldn't finish off things as soon as I had to go back.

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He explained his rather extreme reaction by telling me that he didn't know how to answer my question and that he was sad to let me go indeed. I tried to reassure him that everything would be fine, as long as he promised me not to break up with me as soon as I had to go back. And that was the moment, when the worst happened: he hesitated. He didn't assure me that we'd be fine, that we could do the whole long-distance relationship-thing.

Until that moment I had been on the verge of tears, because I had been dreading the question for so long. Then I just couldn't hold them back anymore, and he went: Oh no, sweetheart, don't cry! But I couldn't stop myself, because for me it was crystal clear: If he couldn't agree to at least try and make the long-distance relationship work, this would be it. I didn't want to pretend being happy for a few more weeks, knowing that it would be over the moment I went back. So I desperately tried to change his mind, telling him it would only be for a year, that we could at least meet up twice a month and that of course it would be hard, but I didn't want this to end right there. But as he still wasn't convinced to try making it work, I decided to go home. I kissed him goodbye one last time.

Back home I broke down and cried until I couldn't even cry anymore. I couldn't imagine being all by myself again, having to go through a breakup again. So I called my sweet French and asked him to come over and spend the night, because I couldn't stand being alone. When he came he finally agreed to at least try to make it work, but I still suspect that he had only said it to make me feel better.

Since then we haven't talked about it again, but although we agreed on at least trying to make it work, it took me a few days to get over it. However, I always had the feeling that something was between us, something, that was separating us and it feels so much better now as we have at least tried to talk about it.

Xoxo, do you think this is going to work? Have you ever been in a situation like that?

Love or Truth?

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My dear B is asking himself - Is his relationship strong enough to take what he's about to do?

Love or Truth?
It's come to the point where I have to decide telling the love of my probably whole life that i might move to another city. He doesn't know that I applied for the job and I know that he wouldn't want me to accept it because we gave ourselves a second change. I mean it's not even for sure that I am moving but should I tell him? Or is it better to enjoy the time I have with him? I couldn't help but wonder - Is it sometimes better to not tell the truth when it's not even sure you do something in the future? Or should you tell him- get into a fight with him and if u don't get the job be happy?

Xoxo, let us know, have you ever been in a situation like that?

Boyfriend turned romantic

My French Guy is finally back from his holidays and my patience has been paying off ever since. Things have been better than ever before and it seems like my being worried about missing him so much doesn't seem to have been wrong.

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But what I really wanted to tell you about is yesterday. Yesterday, when he did the most romantic thing I could imagine right now: When we were just getting ready to going to bed, I said: You know what I've been thinking? A massage would be so nice right now.

Next thing I know is that he told me to take off my shirt and lie down. And then he gave me one of the most romantic massages I ever got. With lots of kisses and tender touching (only my back, of course)

When it was over and I was lying in his arms I promised him to give him a massage in return the next time he would be staying over. He just said hmm and told me that I would get another one then too and every other time I want one. And then he said the most romantic thing: You have a free pass for massages. I will give you as many massages as you want.

In my experience until now I always had to make an effort to get my boyfriend to give me a massage, that's why I was so touched by him saying that. Also, this gives me the feeling that he's got the intention of sticking around for some time. Don't ask me why, I just got the feeling that this is going to be a great love story. We even made it to falling asleep in each others arms - no need for My Side, Your Side anymore. If this isn't a sign, I don't know what is.

Xoxo, just be patient for some time and you will get even more than you ever dreamed of!

Missing you

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It has been such beautiful weather the last days - beautiful couple weather as I call it. Unfortunately my sweet french guy is on a two-week vacation in the US. Not enough that he's gone for two weeks, a whole ocean separating us, it kills me that we can't enjoy the first real summer days of the year together. I wish we could go to the park, enjoy the sun and each other. I wish we could go for a stroll to the ice cream parlor round the corner, holding hands and taking in this feeling of joy one only has on the first few summer days. The same way all the other happy couples, that I come across all day, do.

Missing him so much makes me think. It makes me ask myself if it is ok to grow attached to someone so fast - after all, we've met a bit more than five weeks ago. Is it normal to miss him so much after this short span of time? I am aware - from my own experiences, that it isn't the best idea to get too attached to someone after such a short time, but I am just so happy that I finally found someone who I like and who likes me - considering it's been a while since someone had an honest interest in being with me.

Xoxo, let's hope my french sweetie proves himself worth missing!

My side, your side

Remember how I was going on about wanting to feel safe in someone's arms, having someone waiting for me at home and dreaming of falling asleep right next to Prince Charming?

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So, I've met this cute french guy at a friend's party and we ended up kissing drunkenly. After that I didn't really expect him to call or anything - considering we where both wasted, but he actually called me the next day and asked me out on a date. We spent a really nice evening together and I enjoyed being with him very much, so we ended up going back to my place and him spending the night.
Problem is, he's a very "cuddly" guy. He would scoot over all the time, hold me in his arms and make a lot of body contact. Don't get me wrong, it was lovely, I really enjoyed it - after all, that is what I've been dreaming of since I have been single again. However, as I've been single for quite some time now, I am not used to having someone right next to me anymore. So I ended up turning and tossing all the time and waking him up every time I moved. Let me say, we didn't get too much sleep that night. And the second night. And not because we where having passionate sex all night.

I kept feeling really bad because all I wanted to do was to tell him to just get the hell over to "his" side of the bed and give me some space to sleep, but I really didn't want to hurt him. Last night I finally plucked up the courage to tell him, in a Dirty Dancing kind of way - like: This is my space, that is your space. I don't get into yours and you don't get into mine. With a few (or a lot) exceptions, of course. And voilà, it worked out well. We kept holding hands all night, but also got some rest.
And he didn't seem to be hurt at all - if he was, he concealed it well, but I already know that he needs at least as much sleep as I do, so it might not have been the worst decision to make. Although he kept teasing me whenever I tried to steal a kiss from him and had to cross the "border".

Xoxo, sometimes you just have to invent new rules - if only to break them later!

Men are like Drugs

Today I got an awesome guest post from my dear friend B. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

Men are like Drugs
Once we have them for more than 3 days in a row we get addicted.
But we always have to remind ourselves that it is not the letting-go that's bad. It's the moving on. Getting through life without the drug we used for such a long time.
Find a new drug - a better drug. I know that drugs are never good but everybody uses them anyway so why do people judge if u have one big drug that's called Michael? I loved the way he got me high and i think there is nothing wrong with that feeling!

Not too long, but also not too short. Straight to the point. I've never thought about it that way before, but I actually feel like going through a deprivation after a break-up.

Xoxo, have fun finding your new drug called James, Andrew, Brian, Chris or whatever his name will be!

Kissing Frogs

One of the girls in Sex and the City once said „You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince“. But what if I‘m fed up with kissing frogs instead of The Guy? What if I don‘t want to kiss any more slimy, lying, cheating or simply not-for-me guys? Is it wrong for me to say I don‘t want to have relationships that lead nowhere? Should I be more thankful for having relationships, even if they are dead ends?

Sometimes, when I'm once again single I phantasize about having a boyfriend, being in his arms, sharing meals, looking forward to coming home to him after work. All that without thinking he'd be The Guy. All I want in those moments is someone to comfort me when I'm sad, someone to be there for me, when I need him.
In other moments I dream of being one of those happy princesses that only have to kiss one frog that will turn into a charming prince and they will be happy ever after.
And then there are those days where I think, what the hell do I need a boyfriend for? I can have fun with whoever I want, I don't need to stay with one guy for the rest of my life, do I? I don't need a husband to support me, I can get help whenever I need it. All I have to do is pick up the phone and call one of my friends.

However, reality is different. There is no exact recipe for getting either dream of mine. At times it's just so exhausting to never know how to get exactly what I want. How to proceed so I won't get my heart broken again.
Whatever I do, how much I think about it, I guess we'll have to kiss a few more frogs before one of them turns into Prince Charming.

Xoxo, try not to break the frogs hearts! After all, what seems to be a frog to you, might be Prince Charming for another girl!

Next Step

I've been thinking. About my situation. About being single. About being sick of going everywhere alone, feeling like the fifth wheel on the wagon, returning home to an empty apartment and having to cook for one person only.

I'm dreaming of someone waiting for me at home, taking bubble baths together, watching cheesy movies together, feeling safe in his arms, falling asleep and waking up right beside my Mr. Big.

So I figured, I'd try my luck with one of those online dating sites, that seem to be so popular. I'm not sure which one to pick yet, but I'll definitely let you know all about this new part of my search for love.

Xoxo, wish me luck!

Working Woman

How do woman fit all their to-do‘s in just 24 hours? How do they always look perfectly styled, have their private life in order, get their laundry done, clean their appartment properly, keep their body in shape and have some free time to meet their friends, go to the movies or enjoy their hobbies? These women seem like super woman to me.

As I recently started working full time - it‘s just an internship so an end is in sight, thank god ;) - I haven‘t had any free time at all. All I do is get up in the morning, go to work and come back in the evening. I am glad if I have enough time to cook myself a decent dinner, read my mail and, if I am really fast doing these things, read a few pages of a novel or watch an episode of my favorite show.

But then, I remember dreaming of being an independent working woman, moving out from my parent‘s house, doing whatever I pleased to do, not having to do homework after I came home. Back then it seemed like the most desireable thing ever. But I hadn‘t experienced being a working woman yet and now I miss those carefree times, when I actually had the time to try out new hair-dos, paint my nails twice a week, play the Sims for hours and lie in front of the TV to watch all those Gossip Girl and Grey‘s Anatomy episodes.

Xoxo, enjoy whatever you are doing at the moment, you will miss it some day!

Imagine

Today on the tube home from work I saw a couple in their sixties and almost immediately saw me and the guy I've been in love with for the last three years. Sitting there, talking, smiling at each other. The woman even let her eyes drift to her husband's lips sometimes as if she was fantasizing about kissing him.
This picture made me happy. Though I don't know if said guy and I will ever get back together... Long story short: we met at work and I was instantly drawn to him but never even imagined we'd eventually actually be together, so I kept admiring from afar. Then he left the company and we didn't have any contact for more than two years until he started texting me on facebook because as he said, he had never forgotten me. So after a few weeks we started dating and I was on cloud nine for quite some time, but unfortunately he had to move to another continent because of his work - only for two years, but still it wasn't the same anymore although I felt like he was my Mr. Big.
So although I don't know what's going to happen I always got my imagination and hope!

Xoxo, use your imagination to feel happy!

Be in Peace with Yourself

I got this book - Desiderata, a poem for a way of life.
Every day before going to bed I open it at a random page and read the rule for this day. Today it told me to "be in peace with myself". I started thinking about it. What does "being in peace with yourself" mean?

Does it mean I should be all well-balanced, don't have mood swings, never get angry and never losing my temper? - This really seems possible to me, and what about all the delicious chocolate I'd miss if I didn't have to face situations like that??
Or does it just mean that I should be ok with everything I ever did and will do? Like taking all the things I did as they are and not being embarrassed or frightened or angry about them anymore?

At first it seemed to me like my first answer sounded right, but then, after thinking longer about it, I realised that I couldn't think of anything more desireable as to be in peace with myself. Not to feel angry and confused about that one time, I broke up with this one boyfriend because it felt right at that time, but then I couldn't forget him for a very long time. Or this other situation, when I was so embarrassed because someone found out I had a crush on that totally uncool singer, which felt so right to me, but obviously everyone else didn't think so...
And then I realised, I wouldn't be the person I am now if I hadn't had all those moments!

Xoxo, I hope you will be in peace with yourself some time soon!